Saturday, October 26, 2013


Porter was six months old yesterday! It's weird because three weeks ago we were checking into the hospital to have him and now he's halfway to a year...

At six months Porter is:
-rolling over both ways, sitting up by himself for short periods and starting to try to scoot himself forward. 
-17 pounds, 2 ounces and 26.5 inches long. He's in the 50th percentile for height, weight and head. He's in 6 month clothes and some 9 month clothes. 
-still nursing every 3 hours during the day and still in that newborn eat/play/sleep routine for the most part so he doesn't really have set naptimes. His nighttime sleep is awful, but at his check-up his doctor said he has reflux so we have started him on medicine for that which should improve his sleep. 
-squealing, babbling and laughing all the time. He thinks Paxton is hilarious and they both love taking turns squealing at each other. He likes when Jared scares him. 
-eating solids once a day (just for the past few days). Usually veggies-he's tried peas and green beans-but sometimes oatmeal. Eating solids isn't his favorite thing but he tolerates it. 

He's growing up so fast and it's so fun to see him start to interact with Pax more and be able to do more on his own but he's already halfway through the baby stage and we are trying to soak that in as much as possible! I'm looking forward to his reflux medicine taking effect and am really hoping that makes him feel better. 

Friday, October 25, 2013


It was my dream to be a stay-at-home mom. My mom did it and I have so many happy memories of just running around the house playing all day, of her making us our favorite lunches, of being quiet during All My Children...I knew that's what I wanted for my children. 

I had a hard time picking and then sticking with a major in college, mostly because none of those careers were my dream. I got so lucky. I married a man that supported my dream. I had babies before I got too deep into a career. My husband has a job that pays enough to cover everything we need. I got what I wanted. 

I know in my heart that I'm so lucky, but some days this is hard. Sometimes I see my former classmates post pictures of themselves out in the world making a difference. I see mom friends that work taking resort vacations with their husbands, taking their babies to the beach. My husband sends pictures of skyscrapers in NYC while I change poopy diapers and rinse peanut butter off knives and I feel doubt creep in. I wonder what I could have done with my marketing degree. I wonder what Jared and I could be buying with a double salary. I wonder if we would have taken the boys to Disney World and the beach by now. 

But then Paxton wakes up from his nap and the first word off his lips is mommy. Porter nuzzles his fuzzy little head into my neck because I'm all he wants. A man at a restaurant approaches me and tells me that when I left the table, my 2-year-old watched me walk away and said "mommy" in the sweetest voice he had ever heard and I remember that these are the moments I wanted. This is what I picked and I'm so glad I did. 

Wednesday, October 23, 2013


Paxton was (and is) a fantastic sleeper. At six weeks he was sleeping through the night (the actual kind of sleeping through the night like from 9-9...not the kind where babies sleep for six hours and doctors say that counts) and he never looked back. All the phases of sleep regression passed over him. He had a few nap issues but his nighttime sleep was always perfect. When I was pregnant with Porter, Jared said our biggest adjustment was going to be not getting to sleep in anymore (Pax sleeps til 9 or sometimes even 10). I laughed and said that since we both like sleep, our babies will too. I jinxed us. 

Porter is a terrible sleeper. He wasn't always bad...he started off pretty normally I think. He was up every three hours at night but would eat and go right back to sleep. He had an issue where he would only take naps while he was being held and go down for the night swaddled but at least he was sleeping. As the weeks passed, his nighttime stretches were getting longer for the most part. He still wasn't sleeping through the night but he would go six hours pretty regularly and a couple of times even surprised me with an eight hour stretch. I was surviving. 
Then four months hit. Apparently there is a four month sleep regression. I didn't know because Paxton always just slept...we gave Porter rice cereal on his four month birthday and he was up every two hours. Well, easy fix: no more rice cereal. Didn't work. The next several nights he was still up every two hours. Eventually he ended the regression and moved back towards six hour stretches. 
Right as I was getting comfortable with the new normal, he got an ear infection and again started waking up more. He had his antibiotics, kicked the ear infection and I was expecting more sleep...well some nights it happened and some nights it didn't. He still needed to be nursed to fall asleep for naps, but those were going pretty well at least...until they weren't. 
Right around five months, not only was Porter up every two or three hours to eat, now he was also waking up from naps after only 30 minutes. And he was mad! The only thing to stop the crying was to nurse. So I did. Most of the time he would fall right back to sleep. I knew I was creating a monster...especially when he would seal his lips tightly and not take a pacifier when he knew I was trying to get him to sleep. Only nursing was acceptable. I called the doctor. The nurse that I don't particularly like called back and without asking me a single question said that he was teething and to give him Tylenol and Orajel every night before bed, put him down and leave him until morning. I tried to tell her that he already had his bottom teeth (she said that he would be teething for the next two years and that he would get his bottom row of teeth and then his top row which is obviously not the case at all) and that there were no signs that his top teeth were coming in. She said that I should know he wasn't hungry and that I was spoiling him and to let him cry himself to sleep. Even though I knew he wasn't teething and the cry-it-out method is painful for me, I knew she was at least right when she said that what we were doing wasn't working. So I decided to try. That day I put him down for his nap without nursing him to sleep. He cried for about 15 minutes and then fell asleep. He stayed asleep for two hours and woke up well rested. I did the same for his next nap and he only cried for about 10 minutes. I was excited. I hated the crying, but it was working! He was learning to put himself to sleep. 

That night was the big test. We swaddled him and I nursed him to sleep, knowing that his night would be tough and we should at least start it comfortably. At midnight he started crying. I put his pacifier in and he went back to sleep. At 1:26am, he started crying again. I put his pacifier in but he spit it out and kept crying. The kid cried for 59 minutes (I cried most of that time too because I felt so bad, but I knew he wasn't hungry and was just hoping I was helping him in the long-run). After an hour, I was done. I couldn't handle another second. I nursed him back to sleep. 

I wish this story had a happy ending...I'm sure eventually it will but not right now. 

So here we are...he has gotten good at naps. Most of the time he will go straight to sleep without even fussing. Sometimes he cries for a few minutes before falling asleep. His naps are the appropriate length and he wakes up well-rested. Then there's the night time. He is literally up every 90 minutes to 2 hours. The only thing that gets him back to sleep is nursing. I have tried everything: him in the room with us, not in the room with us, bassinet, crib, in my arms, swaddled, unswaddled, oatmeal before bed, veggies before bed, cluster feeding before bed, formula before bed...everything I can think of. None of it makes a difference at all and I'm at a loss. I'm exhausted. I know this is just a season and it will pass and he will eventually sleep, but right now that seems awfully far away. 

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

The Pumpkin Patch

We went to the pumpkin patch today!
I was excited because the boys had matching shirts but it was tough to get a cute picture of them together...
Paxton took the whole "knock the pins down" thing literally. 

Pax's favorite part out of all the fun stuff they had was a big empty trailer. 

My boys are so sweet together. 
Pax liked the idea if riding in the pumpkin train but wasn't a huge fan of actually moving. 
After the pumpkin patch, we stopped by a fall festival. It was tons of fun and not crowded at all. Pax jumped in the different moon bounces for almost an hour until I made him get out because of the rowdy big kids. 

Then we went to the petting zoo area where Pax touched a snake!

He was so excited to get a balloon. 
And to see a fire truck!
The fire fighters gave Pax a goodie bag with a tattoo in it. 

And my adorable husband looked handsome baby-wearing. I love a man wearing a baby. 

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Zoo and Dallas

Jared took the day off on Friday and it was the perfect day to take the boys to the zoo. 
Paxton liked looking at some of the animals but was mostly excited about getting to run around. 

Porter was just happy to be outside. 

We couldn't leave without riding the train which Paxton loved when we came last summer. This time...he was ok with it at first but was definitely ready to get off about halfway through the ride. It didn't help that the driver kept waiting for more people and there were no animals to see this time.

We left the zoo and headed straight to Texas for our annual OU/TX trip to hang out with the Thompsons. 

It was a good trip and we almost made it the whole way without stopping (we would have if there hadn't been so much traffic) we had to take a quick break to feed Porter but Pax made it the whole way without a break, and he didn't even take a nap! That gives us hope for all of the OK to NC trips in our future. 

When we got to the hotel, Pax was excite to see that our room had a balcony!
He was obsessed and kept saying "Mommy outside" for me to come out with him. We had pizza and candy and just spent some time together as a family. It was really nice. 

Paxton said he was calling Blakely. I think he was excited to see her!
After baths, it was time for bed. It was our first trip in 2.5 years to not bring the pack and play. Pax got to sleep in a big boy bed! 
He did really well. He stayed in bed all night and fell asleep even with us right next to him and the TV on which has never happened before. We usually have to put him in the bathroom in complete darkness and silence for him to fall asleep. He's growing up!
Porter got to sleep with Mommy and Daddy. 
The next morning, we headed over to the Thompson's house to watch the game and hang out. Pax and Blakely had an adorable moment as we walked in. 
They had such a good time playing together! This year was my favorite one so far because they spent the whole time just hanging out and playing together. It was adorable. 
Even though the game was not good, we always love getting to hang out with our besties!

We left Sunday after lunch and hit tons of traffic...we barely made it home in time to celebrate Teighynne's 25th birthday! 
We ate dinner at Bricktown Brewery in Edmond (where both boys made it obvious that they were done doing what we wanted then to do) and headed to my mom's for cake and presents! 

It was such a perfect weekend!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Oktoberfest, the Fair and Lots of Sickies

-We've been spending a lot of time at the doctor lately...Porter went from his Croup/ear infection straight into a cold which turned into the Miller Family Stomach Flu Disaster in which we all came down with the stomach flu at once...we are back to runny noses and coughs now but that doesn't seem so bad compared to the stomach flu....

-Paxton learned to share. This usually leaves Porter with a lap-full of toys, remotes and sippy cups. He doesn't mind. 
-Moving day came and went...we had a Chick-fil-a picnic on the floor of the empty living room....
...and watched the movers moving toys...
...until Paxton had a breakdown and we ended up shut in the empty master bedroom while the movers finished. At which point I tipped a guy who wasn't a mover and Porter pooped on the floor. 
-We went to Oktoberfest in Choctaw. It was hot. Paxton saw the $5 for 2 minutes bounce house and had a fit. We left after 30 minutes. 
-We went to the fair. We took Pax (and Porter) to Disney on Ice. The darkness and the whole sitting in a chair thing bothered Paxton and by the third song we knew we had to leave for the people around us...
But while we were at the fair, Pax got to ride his first ride! We bought 5 tickets which seemed like a lot...but we got back to the kid's area and it was barely enough for one ride. By that time, Porter was ready for bed and Pax was grumpy so instead of looking for an ATM and standing in the ridiculously long ticket again to buy a ticket for Jared or I to ride something with him, we just threw him on the first kid's ride we could find...little cars that went in a circle. He was okay at first but ended up crying each time he passed us. He loves watching the video of it now though...
-We tried a new grocery store and they had car carts. We found out the hard way that the buckles are important. 
-Pax got his first library card! 
-Having no mortgage payment gives us a lot more disposable income! One night we went shopping at the new outlet mall and just bought a few things we wanted without thinking about the budget. Then we went out to dinner. It was awesome. 
-Pax got a hair cut. Of course it made him immediately turn into a little boy..except for the part where he screamed and cried the entire time he was in the chair. Even with a sucker. 
-Porter passed his 6-month development test while we waited for the doctor to come see him about his stomach flu...amazing how spending an hour laying on paper waiting for a doctor will inspire a baby to rip up the paper...I was thinking back and didn't remember Paxton ever ripping up the paper (aka "passing his 6 month development test") and I think that's because our regular doctor never makes us wait that long!
-Porter had his first sippy cup...mostly because there were no bottles clean and it was easier to get this out than wash them. It took it without a problem. I love these Nuby cups for babies.