Thursday, March 21, 2013

Birthday Eve

Somehow it's here again...the day before Paxton's birthday. This one isn't a milestone birthday like last year when he went from a baby to a toddler overnight, but it still feels big to me.

After seeing how fast his first year flew by, I tried to enjoy every second of this year. I tried to savor every park trip, every second of smelling his hair while he cuddled in my lap to listen to a story, every precious night rocking him before bed. It still flew by.

This year we celebrated as he learned to walk, then all too quickly to run. We listened as his vocabulary developed and patiently tried to teach him that every word is not pronounced "dada". We bought him big brother t-shirts and read him books about babies, we tried to prepare him for the big change he has in store in a few months. Most nights we laid in bed whispering about all the funny or amazing things he had done that day. We peered anxiously into his mouth, waiting for more teeth to sprout. We took video footage as he finally mastered sliding on his own and as he learned to shoot hoops. We watched his feet grow and his hair grow. We saw his leg rolls start to disappear and turn into muscle. We saw the beginnings of him becoming a little boy.

We have big plans in store for our family this year: a new baby, possibly an across-the-country move...and I know this year will fly by even faster than the past years. So once again tonight, I will make a silent promise to Paxton to be present in the coming year. I will watch all of the tricks he shows me. I will listen to his new words, and hopefully as the year progresses, his stories. I will make him giggle and laugh my hardest when he returns the favor. I will not say no to another book, even after the thirtieth time we've read it that day. I will close my eyes and enjoy every hug he gives me and savor the feeling of his tiny, spitty hand in mine. I will be the best mommy I can be to him. I never knew how much I would love this sweet boy, and I will do everything I can to make sure he feels every drop of that love.

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