The Eve of Toddlerhood

Porter, 

I'm sitting here on the eve of your first birthday, thinking about our year together. I have to admit, I'm not as emotional this year as I was on your brother's first birthday eve. It defintely isn't that I love you less or that I'm not sad about you growing up, it's that you still seem like such a baby to me. My anxiety about hitting all of the milestones with your brother and always waiting for the next big event made each of his firsts seem like lasts too. His first birthday felt like the end of his babyhood. But I learned with him. Just like I learned that wagon wheels are a dangerous food, I learned that milestones don't really mean anything. Sure you'll be one and you'll technically be a toddler, but you're not toddling and you're still my baby. 

I've really enjoyed the second half of our year together. Once we got you past your Reflux issues, you turned into the happy, easy-going baby we know today. Seriously everywhere we go people make comments about how happy and smiley and outgoing you are and it makes me proud. You are a completely different baby than Paxton was and you have taught me so much. You have taught me patience, creative thinking and that the doctor isn't the expert on you, I am. I am your advocate and your protector and if something isn't right, it's my job to fix it. 

I love how cuddly you are. I love when you get sleepy and you nuzzle your face into my chest. I love that I'm always the person you want. I love kissing your soft, squishy cheeks and smelling your sweet baby hair. 

You're the perfect baby for Daddy and me. You're the perfect little brother for Paxton. I'm so glad I get to see you every morning and play with you and teach you. I'm excited for what this year will bring: the walking, the talking, the developing personality, the likes and dislikes...all of it. 

I love you so much,

Mommy

Easter!

Easter was amazing this year since we were back in OK to celebrate it! Since it was Porter's last first holiday, we tried to pack in as much fun as we could. 

We started by dying Easter eggs before we left NC. 

It was Paxton's first year to dye eggs so we had lots of cracked, brownish ones when we were done but he had a blast! His hands were completely purple for about four days afterwards since he just reached in the cups to get the eggs out and toss them into the next color. 

We went by Gramsy's house on Easter Eve when we got to Oklahoma and she gave the boys their Easter baskets. 

On Easter morning, we woke up to donuts from Grandpa Mark and some presents from the Easter bunny. Paxton's favorite part were his two Hot Wheels cars and Porter is obsessed with his little penguin. 

We got ready...

...and headed to church with Gramsy. 

After church, we went to Granny's house for Easter lunch. 

After lunch, Granny V gave the boys their Easter baskets and then Paxton and Aunt Maddy headed outside to look for eggs. 

Porter even found an egg!

Uncle Rich's kids came over with their two kids who were 2.5 and 3.5. Paxton had a blast running around with them and playing frisbee. 

After that, we headed to Gramsy's house for our annual Easter cookout. 

These boys love being around family. They laughed and played until they were exhausted. We took a trip to Wal-Mart and Gramsy bought her boys some jammies and outfits. We came back to her house, gave the boys baths and put them in their brand new jammies. Porter lasted about three more minutes before he passed out on Gramsy. 

Duke Park

After 3.5 months in NC, we are starting to get comfortable and find new favorites. We have been spending a lot of time at Duke Park. It isn't the closest park to our house, but Paxton loves it. 

And Porter just loves to be outside. 

On Saturday, we took a picnic lunch. 

And then on Wednesday, we met our Mom's group there. Paxton was way too busy stealing his friend's ball and climbing all the steps to take a picture, but the babies were a little easier to catch. 

Feels Like Summer!

It was 80 degrees here today after a cool and rainy weekend. Both boys were up from their naps super early, so we headed outside with some water. 

Both of these two boys LOVE splashing so this was a big hit. Paxton kept saying "I'm having so much fun! Porter, are you having so much fun?" And Porter would squeal back. 

Somehow Porter ended up standing in one bucket while splashing in the other one...while Paxton dumped water on his head. 

Now I'm defintely ready for summer. 

Three

Dear Paxton,

Today you turn three years old. You officially change from a toddler to a little boy as the clock changes from 7:16 to 7:17. This has been a big year for you. You've welcomed a baby brother. I watched you meet this tiny, red-faced, screaming bundle the morning after he was born and the first thing you did was smile. You leaned over and gave him a kiss, even though he was new and he was loud and he was different, your instinct was to give him a kiss. I love that about you. You're a typical little boy, full of energy and noise, but your first instinct is always love. 

You also left your home this year. You watched all your toys and furniture be packed into a big truck and we moved you and your baby brother to not only a new house, but also a new state...one you had never even visited before. We pulled up to your new house and you were excited. You climbed the stairs, found all the light switches and crawled back into the secret room in the back of the coat closet to hide. And once we had your room set up, you never looked back. You knew this was your home now, you had all your stuff and your family and you were content. I love how adjustable you are. You are defintely like your daddy in your comfort with routine and tradition and familiarity; but you also have a love of spontaneity and an ability to roll with new adventures. I love that about you. 

This year you have learned to ask for what you want and to tell us what you're thinking. You have started putting words together creatively and make up your own little sentences. You have surprised us with some more colorful words stolen from a TV show that we shouldn't have been watching while you were awake. You have shown us what a little sponge you are as you pick up new words and carefully correct yourself when you learn a more grown-up word for things. You've learned your letters and some numbers, more animal noises than we can keep track of, and how to read your very first word: zoo. You love to tell us how to spell things, usually "S, T, N" and what to do. You are a typical first-born in your love of attention and praise. You are starting to fight for what you want, from wearing your light up shoes to having PB&J's for lunch to going to Target and getting a new red car. 

You love to tell us you're "free" years old and that your name is Paxton Mark Birthday. You like to change things up and call me Princess and call Daddy Jurd  sometimes. You also call us Mommy Miller, Daddy Miller and Por-yuh Miller a lot and like to go around the table at dinner time and point everyone out and then say "that's my family". It is one of my favorite things you do...which is good because dinner time is an adventure with you. If we have anything new or anything you've decided you don't like, you staunchly refuse to take even one bite. You are perfectly happy drinking some milk and moving on to bathtime. 

Your favorite things right now are playing outside, building "car houses" with your Mega Blocks, reading books on "Mommy's wap", playing peekaboo with Porter, going to Target, and watching Frozen and eating popcorn. 

Daddy says: Three is having a little boy, not a baby or toddler. I can tell because you try to teach Porter how to do things. You care for your little brother and congratulate him for talking and standing up on his own. Porter can't show that type of caregiving to his older brother. He just smiles and laughs in approval of your presence. To me, that shows that you have entered into a new stage of your life. I'll always miss you as a baby and toddler, but this is the first stage where you become the type of person you'll be. 

We are both so crazy about you and the personality you are developing. Every night after you are finally asleep after jumping on your bed, throwing around toys and singing all the songs you know, we sneak in and watch you sleep for a few minutes and smile at the position you are in or which animals you've chosen to sleep with and which you've banished to the floor. That's probably the time of day where we feel the absolute most love for you. Our hearts are so full while we watch you sleep and reflect on the day we've had with you. I remember doing the same thing every night since you were a tiny baby and can picture myself sneaking into your room to watch you sleep as a bigger boy and a teenager. 

Happy birthday little Pax Attack. I love you so much and can't wait to see what year three has in store for us. 

Love, 

Mommy